I learned to embrace motherhood, rather than fight against it

I’ll never forget how strange it was to start my life as a stay-at-home mom. I went from being a full-time college student, working, and constantly on the go…to a completely opposite pace of life. I stayed home all day with a baby. No one was grading or evaluating me. No one expected anything from me. A paycheck wasn’t involved. No one cared if I had been up all night or if I stayed in my pajamas all day. Suddenly, I was invisible to the outside world (or so it felt). It was WEIRD for me. I had a hard time finding a new rhythm of life. Taking care of a newborn was far more challenging than I ever imagined. I loved my baby, yet I struggled with my new role as a mom.

My thoughts continually went back and forth from my old life to my new life. I knew I wanted so badly to be a mother, but I was having a hard time accepting all of the challenges and changes. Everything was different than before—my body, my thoughts, my schedule, my purpose. Even though I understood how important motherhood was, and I knew it was my obligation to rear my child in the best way possible—I still found myself wishing it was easier. I wanted to be able to enjoy the blessings of motherhood without all of the “hard stuff.”

Soon enough, I recognized my need to end the battle in my head. No more wanting motherhood to be easier. No more wishing it was different. Instead, it was to time accept and embrace motherhood for what it was—a sacred calling that the Lord needed me to fulfill. 

Gordon B. Hinckley taught, 
“I remind mothers everywhere of the sanctity of your calling. No other can adequately take your place. No responsibility is greater, no obligation more binding than that you rear in love and peace and integrity those whom you have brought into the world.”

If motherhood was my greatest responsibility and obligation, I needed to put my whole heart into it, rather than fight against it. If I wanted to be a good mother and make the best difference in the lives of my children, I had to be willing to work hard and sacrifice much.  If I wanted to reap the rewards, I had to put in the work. As Gordon B. Hinckley once said, “Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds.”

Slowly, over time, as I gave my best effort to fully embrace motherhood, I witnessed a transformation. I no longer thought about my “pre-mom” days, and I jumped into my calling of motherhood with both feet. My focus shifted from “what’s in it for me” to “what’s in it for them.” I stopped dwelling on the “hard stuff” that motherhood brought, and instead, found joy in the fruits of my labors—a joy sweeter than anything I could’ve ever imagined.

Dallin H. Oaks taught, 

“The Savior taught that we should not lay up treasures on earth but should lay up treasures in heaven (see Matt. 6:19–21). In light of the ultimate purpose of the great plan of happiness, I believe that the ultimate treasures on earth and in heaven are our children and our posterity…Faithful Latter-day Saints cannot afford to look upon children as an interference with what the world calls “self-fulfillment.” Our covenants with God and the ultimate purpose of life are tied up in those little ones who reach for our time, our love, and our sacrifices.”

By striving to give my time, love, and sacrifices to my children, I have been given the greatest treasures I’ve ever known. My children’s happiness and success have become my own. Yes, I’m far from perfect and I don’t always enjoy every aspect of motherhood (cleaning, cooking, sleepless nights, anxiety, suffering, etc), but that doesn’t take away from the bigger picture. I push through the difficult "things" because I know the blessings are worth the effort.

A few weeks ago our A/C wasn’t working, so it was a hot, muggy, frustrating day. It didn’t help that I was sick and trying to take care of 4 kids. Finally it was dinnertime, and I sat down at the table in exhaustion. Suddenly, to my total surprise, my 8-year-old son leaned his head on my shoulder and quietly said, “I love you so much, Mom. What would my life be like without you?” I had to hold back the tears. He said it so sincerely. I was filled with love and gratitude for my sweet boy. My awful day melted away and my spirit was buoyed. Not only did I feel of my son’s love for me, but I felt of my Heavenly Father’s love as well. I was reminded yet again of how blessed I was to be a mom.

Another time, I remember my 2-year-old was having a difficult time going to sleep one night, so I went into his room and held him for a time. My heart filled with immense love for that precious little body in my arms. I had a moment where the Spirit touched my mind, and I briefly pictured him as a grown man. I had the distinct impression that his childhood years were passing quickly, and that my choices as a mother now, during his childhood, would largely influence the man he would become. I felt a new resolve to be the mom he needs me to be, and to cherish my time/influence with each of my children.

President Gordon B. Hinckley reminds me of how important my children are, 

“You have nothing in this world more precious than your children. When you grow old, when your hair turns white and your body grows weary, when you are prone to sit in a rocker and meditate on the things of your life, nothing will be so important as the question of how your children have turned out. It will not be the money you have made. It will not be the cars you have owned. It will not be the large house in which you live. The searing question that will cross your mind again and again will be, How well have my children done?”

I don’t want to have regrets. I want to look back knowing I did my best as a mom to rear my children in love and righteousness. Thankfully, because of my Savior, this IS possible. Amidst my mistakes, weaknesses, and faults—He offers His forgiveness, strength, and enabling power. As long as I keep sincerely trying, He will enable me to become the mother God needs me to be.

I find hope in these uplifting words by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones… Yours is the work of salvation, and therefore you will be magnified, compensated, made more than you are and better than you have ever been as you try to make honest effort, however feeble you may sometimes feel that to be.”

I pray all mommas will remember that they are not alone in this most important work. Because of Jesus Christ, we CAN do this, and we can do it wonderfully well! Yes, we won’t always enjoy some of the “hard things” motherhood brings, but we know it is worth it now, and forever. We selflessly toil and sacrifice because we are on God’s errand. We are raising His children. We see a bigger picture—for we are tools in His hands. We have the opportunity to love, teach, and nurture precious children of God. And in return, we receive love, we are taught, and we are nurtured because of these sweet spirits. May we each choose to embrace and cherish our motherhood, and by so doing, discover the greatest blessings, joys, and fulfillment possible.

“Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.” ❤ (Doctrine and Covenants 64:33)

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