Thursday, July 5, 2018

Mom Life: It's not about the next bite


The other day my cute 18-month-old daughter wanted a taste of my fudge Popsicle. I smiled and let her have a little bite. She loved it and couldn’t wait for the next bite. I gave her another bite and instantly she was begging for another (even though she still had a huge mouthful of Popsicle pushing out of her chubby cheeks). Rather than enjoying what was in her mouth, her focus was already on the next bite.😊 Of course it made me laugh, but it also made me think for a moment. How often do we, as adults, do the same thing—with our lives? Do we look ahead, without appreciating today? Are we constantly focusing on the “next bite”? Does the “current bite” seem too bland to notice?

It’s common for us as mothers to have the mindset of “I can’t wait until…” or “things will be so much better when…” (I’m guilty of using both those phrases more than I want to admit!). Days (and nights) can be super hard and super long. It’s easy to yearn for something better without noticing the good that is already there. Yes, it is wonderful to set goals and be excited about the future, but in the mean time, we can’t lose sight of the blessings currently surrounding us, here and now. There are opportunities, blessings, and moments to experience, this very day, and ours is the opportunity to recognize, taste, and savor them.

I love this powerful message from Marvin J. Ashton,

“…A notion commonly shared by many [is] that the best of life is just ahead, over the next hill, a few years away, retirement, tomorrow, next month, when I turn 16, or next summer. We become actively engaged in the pastime of conditioning ourselves to believe that happiness and achievement are always somewhere in the future. There is an attitude of tolerating today, even looking past today in anticipation of a better tomorrow.

“To people so inclined, the better future may never come. The pleasant future belongs to those who properly use today. We need to find the abundant life as we go along. How can we be happy tomorrow if our “nows” are filled with self-inflicted unhappinesses and unwise delays? …A constant waiting for a brighter future may cause us to lose the beautiful today. Some spend so much time getting ready to live for an unknown future, too late they discover there is no time to live…

“…How unwise we are to waste our todays when they determine the significance of our tomorrows. We should wisely live a day at a time because that is all we have. While our families are available to us we should take time to develop oneness, unity, and character. Girls of today are the women of tomorrow. Boys of today are the men of tomorrow. The kind of men and women we produce for the future depends on how they are taught to use today. How fortunate a child is to be raised in a home where love, respect, honor, integrity, and commitment are appropriately displayed each day. Mothers and fathers, we invite you to enjoy the fruits of improved parent-child relationships beginning now.”

This quote reminds me that I won’t have my little ones forever. The giggles, wet kisses, chubby fingers—it will all be gone too quickly. My time with them is passing. Now is the time for me to teach, love, and cherish them. I must take full advantage of my opportunity, TODAY, to whole-heartedly mother Heavenly Father’s precious children. I want to taste and relish the blessings I have, right now. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I do know that I can make the most of today.

One of my favorite quotes from Thomas S. Monson reads,

“This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and nonexistent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.”

A few days ago, I tried to do better at taking full advantage of what is most important, and I tried to find joy in my day. I took my 4 kids on a bike ride while I walked along side pushing my youngest in a stroller. I saw that the sky was darkening and it looked like it could rain any second, so we stayed close to our neighborhood. First, I watched my three oldest children ride up a steep hill and I felt so proud of them for pushing themselves all the way to the top. Seeing my kids make the climb as I followed behind felt so symbolic of my purpose in motherhood. I am here to help each child reach their full potential as a child of God. I will never give up on them. Next, we came around a bend to a steep downhill, while the sky continued to darken. We needed to hurry back, but the hill was too steep for my 3-year-old to ride down. I had all the kids walk their bikes down the steepest part, and that is when it started to downpour. I told the 3 kids on bikes to race back home as I ran behind them. Once again, I was reminded of a bigger picture—I am here to lead, guide, and help my children steer clear of the many dangers this world brings. I will do my best to teach them to build their foundation on Jesus Christ, so they can stand strong amidst the storms. We finally made it back home (soaking wet), and my oldest son ran to his little brother’s aide to help get him inside. I ran the baby inside, and my 6-year-old did her best to push the stroller and bikes into the garage. The kids were running and racing to help each other like it was a huge catastrophe, and I couldn’t help but laugh and savor the moment. We weren’t in any danger, but in their eyes, it was a magical adventure. We worked together and made it to safety—as I hope we always will. This is a memory I’ll never forget, and I’m grateful for the joy it brought me.

This experience reminds me that motherhood rarely brings the loud, “up in your face” kind of happiness. It is usually simple and quiet—which means it takes effort to notice. However, when we do recognize such moments of joy, we taste something sweet and unmistakable. Although the moment is simple, it resonates in our hearts, creating a lasting, deep-rooted joy. It’s not fleeting, and it is why we are willing to sacrifice so much as mothers. The joy of motherhood is different from superficial, momentary happiness. The joy of motherhood is real, and the moments are there—waiting to be noticed—but such moments can’t wait forever. Just as Popsicle bites quickly melt away and vanish, so do precious moments in our motherhood and wifehood. If we don’t savor each bite, we will miss out on the current blessings and joy life has to offer.

I pray we can do better at recognizing what is most important in life and finding joy in the journey—now, as President Monson reminded us. Said Horace, an ancient Roman philosopher, “Whatever hour God has blessed you with, take it with grateful hand, nor postpone your joys from year to year, so that in whatever place you have been, you may say that you have lived happily.” May we live happily, today, and every day. May we choose to enjoy our Popsicles, one bite at a time.😋

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