Changing My Prayers Changed My Motherhood

Years ago, my son was struggling in nursery at church. He would scream and cry almost the whole time. Both my husband and I were serving in callings that didn’t allow for us to take him out. I was so confused on how to best help him. So many people told me different things to do, but everything seemed to backfire. Every day I prayed, “Please help my boy in nursery. Please help him to stop crying and to feel more comfortable.” I prayed and prayed, but my son continued to struggle.

In time, I knew something had to change. I needed help. I needed direction. Finally, out of desperation, I prayed like never before. I completely surrendered my heart unto the Lord. I pled with Him for help and guidance. In humility, I expressed everything I was feeling, and begged for direction. I knew Heavenly Father knew my child better than I did. My concern may have seemed childish and silly to others, but not to my Heavenly Father. As I prayed, the Spirit guided me to change what I was asking for. Instead of asking Heavenly Father to help my son, I asked for direction on how I could help my son. Essentially, I became a part of the equation of my prayer; I was ready to do my part.

Shortly after this prayer, I received my answer. It was early in the morning, and I was still lying in bed. A quiet and clear thought come into my heart and mind, “Go to church early and spend time with him in the nursery room while it is empty. Play with him, and help him get used to the room and familiar with his surroundings.” That was my answer. It was not my own idea, but direct revelation from God.

So, I did just that, and I took my little guy to church early for a couple weeks to play with him in the nursery room while it was empty. That was all it took. Soon enough, my boy stopped crying in nursery and eventually loved it. It was hard to believe something so simple was all he needed. By changing the way I prayed, Heavenly Father was able to use me as a tool to meet my son’s needs.

Regarding this concept, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches, “When we make a request through prayer, we must do all we can to assist in its being granted. Heavenly Father expects us to do more than merely ask Him for blessings…If we have a difficult task before us, Heavenly Father is pleased when we get on our knees and ask for help and then get on our feet and go to work. He will help us in all our righteous pursuits, but He seldom will do something for us that we can do ourselves.”

I’ve discovered that most often the Lord answers my prayers by prompting me to DO something—rather than fixing the problem Himself. He needs me to be an active participant before, during, and especially after I pray. For example, instead of praying for Heavenly Father to help my baby stop crying, I’ve learned to pray to know how I can help soothe my crying baby. This is a lesson I have had to learn, and re-learn, time and time again throughout my motherhood.

Even just a few weeks ago, I was reminded once again of my need to change the way I was praying. One of my kids seemed “off” and moody day after day, and I wasn’t sure of the best way to help. I asked the Lord to please bless my child, but didn’t see much of a change. Then, the Spirit reminded me to tweak my prayer. So, I prayed to my Heavenly Father for direction on what I could do to help this child, rather than merely asking Him to help this child. After submitting my will to the Lord, and sincerely praying for direction on what I could do to help, the words of a scripture came to my mind, “…and he took their little children, one by one, and blessed them, and prayed unto the Father for them (3 Nephi 17:21)."

After pondering these words, I understood that my child needed more one-on-one time with me.  I recorded my impressions and went to work. For several days, I made a concerted effort to spend quality one-on-one time with this child, and it made a huge difference in my child’s behavior. Yet again, I witnessed a loving Heavenly Father sending His wisdom to bless me and my family, and I saw how He was able to use me as a tool in His hands to answer my prayers.

As I look back on these experiences, I notice that not only did my words change while praying, but my desires changed, too. I stopped focusing on what I wanted and opened my heart to what my Heavenly Father wanted. The Bible Dictionary teaches that prayer is “the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other.” By praying in humility, my will aligned with God’s. The Holy Ghost helped me to ask the right questions—which enabled me to receive the answers I so desperately needed.

Richard G. Scott reminds us, “A key to improved prayer is to learn to ask the right questions. Consider changing from asking for the things you want to honestly seeking what He wants for you. Then as you learn His will, pray that you will be led to have the strength to fulfill it.”

I sincerely hope we can admonish Elder Scott’s counsel. Small changes to our prayers can make such a great, positive difference—especially in our motherhood.

Our loving Heavenly Father yearns to commune with us; He is waiting with open arms. Isn’t it comforting to know that as mothers, we are not alone? All our worries, concerns, questions, and thoughts can be shared with our Father in Heaven. He is the source of truth and light, and stands ready to enlarge our minds and understanding. Whatever we are currently worrying about, He can help. Not only can He help, He wants to help—for we are His children. He knows what is best for us, and will never lead us astray. His way, is the sure way, to real peace and happiness. I know that as we learn to ask Him the right questions, with a readiness to fulfill the His will, we will discover the most beautiful, needed, and unmistakable blessings in our lives and in our motherhood.