Do you see it, Momma?

A few years ago, I wrote this line in my journal, “I hope I never become numb to how good my life really is.” It is something I still hope for. I hope it for all of us. What do I mean by becoming “numb”? I am referring to things that dull the senses, harden the heart, blind the eyes, and deafen the ears. Things that distract us from what matters most. Things that hinder the Spirit in our lives. Things that blind us from the joy and blessings of motherhood. Those “numbing things” are different for everyone (wasting time on social media, selfishness, negative thinking, vanity, Netflix binging, envy, overeating…the list could go on and on). If we aren’t careful of such numbing vices in our lives, we will slowly but steadily become blind to the sweet and tender moments of motherhood. There is much joy and goodness surrounding us, but we have to do our part to see and experience it. In other words, we have to wake up from being numb.

I had a “wake up” call during one of my pregnancies (pregnancy and I don’t get along as you can probably tell from my other blog posts 😉). Life as a mother was feeling overwhelming and numbness to the good in life was creeping in. Amidst all the nausea, vomiting, sleepless nights, and fatigue, it was hard to see much good. On one particularly difficult day, I sincerely prayed for help. How can I get through this? 

The answer I received surprised me. I felt the spirit whisper into my heart, “gratitude.” It wasn’t a harsh whisper but a hope-filled whisper. I could do that! Even though life was hard, I could make space for more gratitude in my heart. As I tried to be more grateful, my spirit was uplifted and enlivened. I felt increased gratitude for the ability to carry a child, and I better recognized the blessing of a healthy pregnancy. I felt a new appreciation for my loving husband who kindly tried to lighten my load. My gratitude for Christ’s enabling power expanded. I felt grateful to be feeling grateful!

Trials and hardships are a part of life for all of us. That is a given. But at the same time, no matter what we are struggling with, we can practice gratitude. If we take the time to LOOK for the blessings surrounding us, we will undoubtedly see them. And when we do that, the hard things of life won’t be so hard and the good things of life will be that much better.

 “Gratitude is a Spirit-filled principle. It opens our minds to a universe permeated with the richness of a living God. Through it, we become spiritually aware of the wonder of the smallest things, which gladden our hearts with their messages of God’s love. This grateful awareness heightens our sensitivity to divine direction. When we communicate gratitude, we can be filled with the Spirit and connected to those around us and the Lord. Gratitude inspires happiness and carries divine influence.” -Bonnie D. Parkin

Gratitude will help us see God’s hand and find joy in the small and simple things of motherhood. Most of what we do day to day isn’t grandiose or extravagant. Yet, amidst the diaper changes, baths, bedtimes, teeth brushing, meal preparations, and laundry—there is sweet joy available to us. Joy in hand-picked weeds from a toddler and handmade notes. Walking a 6-year-old to the bus and talking about life. Seeing a child overcome a fear and showing courage in his preschool program. Bedtime snuggles, kisses, and stories. Witnessing her first prayer and feeling the Spirit fill the room. Wiping away tears and holding that little one close. Stroller walks and seeing his excitement over birds, ants, and rocks.  Eating sliced apples and cheese in the backyard, without a care in the world. First smiles, first words, and first steps. Gazing into a newborn’s perfect little face. Tickles and her deep belly laughs. Dancing to music in the car with the windows down. Seeing the holidays through their wonder-filled eyes. Oh so much simple, but beautiful, joy.

I’ve often wondered about when the Savior of the world was born, and an obvious new star was shining in the sky, how many people missed it? I’m convinced many were “numb” to the star’s meaning and didn’t recognize it for what it was. Or perhaps they knew what it meant, but they chose to ignore a beautiful moment that could have been theirs. On the other hand, I’m sure many fell to their knees in gratitude at the sight of the star. They chose to find wonder and awe in such a miracle. I imagine them weeping tears of joy, because they recognized the Savior had come. This scenario can be applied to motherhood. Sweet moments with our children are available to us continually, but are we missing those moments? Are we blind and numb to the good around us? Do we dwell in negativity and ignore available blessings? Or, in contrast, do we recognize the blessing that is ours to raise God’s children? Are we taking advantage of learning from their pure spirits? Do we find wonder and awe in the gift of motherhood? As I analyze myself, I know I can do better.

“Don’t close your eyes and hearts to the simple and elegant beauties of each day’s ordinary moments that make up a rich, well-lived life. The happiest people I know are not those who find their golden ticket; they are those who, while in pursuit of worthy goals, discover and treasure the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. They are the ones who, thread by daily thread, weave a tapestry of gratitude and wonder throughout their lives. These are they who are truly happy.” - Dieter F. Uchtdorf

Now, in my journal it reads, “I hope I never become numb to how good my life really is. In order to do that, I need to live in gratitude daily. Practicing gratitude will open my eyes to the beauty and sweetness of the everyday moments. It will enliven my spirit.”

Let us put a stop to anything that numbs and blinds us, and instead start living in gratitude with open eyes and hearts. Let us wake up to the joy-filled life available to all mothers. And by doing so, may we rejoice in seeing the “stars” that signify the Lord’s precious blessings in our lives.

“See the clearness and the nearness

Of the blessed Christmas star,

Leading, guiding; wise men riding

Through the desert dark and far.

Lovely showing, shining, growing,

Onward going, gleaming, glowing,

Leading still, our Christmas star!”

(Children’s Songbook, Stars Were Gleaming, 37: Words: Nancy Byrd Turner,1880–1971).