A few days ago, I saw an image I did not want to see. I was
researching a brain medical condition, clicked on a link, and suddenly a pornographic
image filled my phone screen. Without hesitation, I closed the window and
didn’t focus my mind on what I saw. Because of past experience and decisions
I’d already made, it was easy to react and reject it quickly.
But then the thoughts crossed my mind, do my children know
how to handle a situation like that? Do they know and understand how dangerous
pornography is? I had taught them in the past, but I felt the Spirit prompt me
to share my experience with my kids, and take the time to talk to and teach
them again about pornography.
Some may argue that parents shouldn’t discuss such things
with their young children. Or some may feel too embarrassed or uncomfortable to
talk openly about it. Others might want to teach their children, but they have
no idea where to start or what to say. Regardless
of these opinions, I am a firm believer that parents are obligated to teach
their children about pornography BEFORE their innocent minds ever encounter it. Even with
strict rules, internet filters, and monitored homes—unexpected pornography
exposure happens. I want my kids to be equipped and ready so that they know
how to respond to it. I want them
to learn about pornography from ME first—before they learn from their friends, online,
social media, etc. The world will try to teach them, but our children need us,
their parents, to provide them with TRUTH before the lies. They need to know
how to fight before the deadly battle begins. They need to know how to swim before
they are thrown into a raging, merciless ocean.
“We as parents and
leaders need to counsel with our children and youth on an ongoing basis,
listening with love and understanding. They need to know the dangers of
pornography and how it overtakes lives, causing loss of the Spirit, distorted
feelings, deceit, damaged relationships, loss of self-control, and nearly total
consumption of time, thought, and energy.
“Pornography is more vile, evil, and graphic than ever
before. As we counsel with our children, together we can create a family plan
with standards and boundaries, being proactive to protect our homes with
filters on electronic devices.”
I completely agree with Sister Reeves, and I applied her
words. Sunday evening, my husband and I took the time to teach our
kids about pornography once again. While at the dinner table, I told my kids
what happened to me with my phone. I told them I was researching online and how
a picture of someone without clothes popped up on my screen. I explained how I
quickly deleted the website and chose to not think about the picture. This led
into a conversation about what pornography is and how to respond to it. We
talked about how those pictures can show up on billboards, computers, TV’s,
phones, I-pads, video games, etc.
My husband and I posed questions to the kids, and we
developed a plan of action together as a family.
What is pornography?
-Picture/movie/game/person/book
that shows someone with little or no clothing on.
Why shouldn’t we look at it?
-It is very dangerous and it can
make our brains addicted. It hurts our heart, mind, and spirit. It will make us
sad about ourselves. It leads to bad choices that make us feel yucky inside. It
causes a loss of the Holy Ghost.
Will Mom or Dad be mad at you if you see pornography and tell about it?
-No! We love you so much and we
always want to help you. We will never be mad, but instead, we will help you
and we will listen. Always tell us if you see it, and we will always help you
and love you.
What if someone tries to show you pornography?
-Turn
away, walk away, look away
-Tell
Mom/Dad or a trusted adult
What if it happens on the bus?
-Say no, look away
-Move
to a different seat
What if a picture comes onto the computer? Or the I-pad? What about on a phone?
-Turn
off the computer monitor right away/close I-pad immediately/lay phone face down
-Go
find Mom/Dad or trusted adult and tell them
What if you are at a friend’s house and a bad movie comes on?
-Go to
a different room, look away
-Ask
friend to do something else
-Call
Mom/Dad or walk home
What if a friend tries to show you their private body parts, or wants you to show your body?
-Say, "No!" Look away.
-Say,
“Stop, this is my body.”
-Be
firm
-Tell
Mom/Dad or trusted adult
What if you can’t stop thinking about a bad picture?
-You can choose to think about
other things. Ask Mom and Dad for help. Say a prayer and ask Heavenly Father
for help. You can choose to think about a primary song, about Jesus, about your
family, etc. You can be in charge of your mind!
Following this discussion, we watched this excellent video (What Should I Do When I See Pornography?) together as a family.
When the video was finished, we talked more about our family
plan, and then we did role plays. We pretended like we were trying to show a
picture, and the kids responded by saying no and walking away (this gave them a
chance to put into action what they learned).
I’m so grateful we did this lesson once again. It reminded me that I need to teach my children about pornogrpahy on an ongoing basis. Teaching truth to my
children always makes a positive difference in our home. I have a testimony of
Elder Boyd K. Packer’s words that, “True doctrine, understood, changes
attitudes and behavior.” Time and time again, as I teach my children truth, I
see my kids make a connection, and I see their behavior change and improve for
the good.
Satan IS attacking our families, and one of his destructive tools is pornography. We can help protect and equip our children
from its danger by teaching and preparing them with the truths of the gospel of
Jesus Christ. We must also be vigilant in keeping ourselves free from Satan’s
filth and lies. How can we teach our children to stay away from dangerous media
if in the same breath we are filling our minds with inappropriate content? Let’s
not be hypocrites. It is wise for us to evaluate the TV/movies we watch, the
books we read, and the pictures we look at. “Soft porn” is dangerous. Sexual
content is dangerous. Such things offend the Holy Ghost and separate us from His companionship. President Russell M. Nelson recently warned us, “In coming
days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding,
directing, comforting, and constant
influence of the Holy Ghost.” In order to spiritually survive, we must be
careful about what we look at and think about it.
Heavenly Father wants us to be so happy and full of light.
Satan wants us to be so miserable and full of darkness. By the choices we make as
individuals and families, we can choose a path leading us to the greatest
blessings and sweetest joys or we can choose a path leading to terrible
heartache and bitter pain. May we each do whatever it takes to strengthen our
homes, marriages, families, and children—especially when it comes to combating
the pernicious evils of pornography.
"But this much I can tell you, that if ye do not watch
yourselves, and your thoughts, and your words, and your deeds, and observe the
commandments of God, and continue in the faith of what ye have heard concerning
the coming of our Lord, even unto the end of your lives, ye must perish. And
now, O man, remember, and perish not (Mosiah 4:30).”
Excellent resources for parents, families, and individuals:
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