Just one day before I fell, I wrote a blog post titled, “Go as Fast as you Should.” In that post, I shared how the Lord had been working on my heart to simplify my life and go at His speed instead of my own speed. I explained how easy it was to get caught up in things that don’t really matter, and also how easy it was to neglect the most important things each day. At the time, I didn’t realize this was the Lord’s message to me just before my brain would permanently change.
I now see that God was “bracing me for impact” to enter a lifestyle that was a much simpler, slower, and soul-stretching pace than I was used to. My new reality was that I could never go as fast as I wanted to anymore. I still can’t. No matter how hard I try, I always fall short because of my limitations. I have less energy, less mind clarity, and a whole lot more headaches. It really challenges me to organize my schedule (and all of my kids’ schedules) and remember the details of the day. It takes great will power to get out of bed and push through the brain fog. These are just a few examples out of hundreds of things that are now hard for me. Thankfully, some days are better than others, but overall, my day-to-day life is so very different from before.
However, even with all of my issues, I know there is something I still can do every day. I can come unto Jesus Christ. I can try to be like Him. I can study His words and apply His teachings. No matter my challenges, schedule, or condition—I can do that.
This is pretty amazing to me—that God provides a simple way for me to follow Him, no matter my circumstances. I can experience His blessings, His peace, and His direction amidst my changed, broken world. What He asks of me is doable, and what He gives in return is everything.
The merciful miracle is that He offers the same gift and opportunity to ALL. Old, young, rich, poor, in bondage, in freedom, in sickness, in health—we are all capable of coming unto Him and experiencing His promises and blessings.
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11:28-30
Christ’s words are true. Trying to focus on Him through the ups and downs has simplified my life in such needed ways. As I think about all of the good and bad times with this trial, looking to Christ has never failed me…
After trying a new therapy that made my symptoms worse for months, focusing on Christ helped me look at the experience through an eternal lens. I trusted that I was gaining an education that would help me in the long run, even if it meant pain and suffering.
With my brain feeling so overwhelmed keeping up with the demands of technology, schedules, and deadlines, remembering what is most important to Christ calms me down. He helps me see what actually matters vs what doesn’t.
I recall standing in my kitchen, while cooking ground beef, head aching with pain and thoughts unorganized, but clearly visualizing how I could specifically help a lady from my church. It’s amazing to me how turning my heart to Christ continually enables me to receive specific insights on who to serve and how to serve them, regardless of my symptoms that day.
When I welcomed my sweet, fifth child into the world, recognizing the Lord’s hand in the details deepened the joy and the experience. I’ll never forget what I felt as I held her in my arms for the first time. I knew she was a gift and miracle from God.
While searching for my car in the parking lot for 15 minutes (once again) because I couldn’t remember where I parked, I felt the Lord’s comfort helping me know I wasn’t alone.
As I went to bed wondering how I could live through another awful night, relying upon Christ’s atoning gift helped me to keep going. I trusted He would enable me beyond my own efforts.
I remember driving to yet another doctor appointment and choosing to listen to some talks from general conference. Listening to the words of Christ through His prophets and apostles gave me two specific answers I had been seeking that week.
When worrying about how to best help one of my children, I recall studying my scriptures and gaining the exact insight I needed for how to meet that child’s needs. Christ’s words give me answers when nothing else can.
While having a child climb in my lap and hug me around my neck, my heart fills with the love of the Savior.
Christ is there in the small and simple details, and drawing upon His power in my life has been my surest source of strength and peace. I am forever grateful for Him.
About 5 months ago, a sweet Relief Society teacher in my ward reached out to me and asked if I would be willing to share an experience in my life when I have simplified things through Christ and how that affected my day-to-day life. She said the spirit prompted her to reach out to me to share my thoughts with the women of my church. I was touched she thought of me, but I also felt nervous to let down my walls and openly share. Usually, I’m able to easily talk to groups, but opening up about my brain injury feels far more uncomfortable to me for many reasons.
In preparation to share my thoughts, I studied Elder Michael Czeisla’s talk from general conference titled, “Simplicity in Christ.” (If you are looking for an insightful, uplifting read, I highly recommend it). Oh, how I needed to study His words and be reminded that indeed, applying the doctrine of Christ in a simplified and focused way helps me to find joy in my daily life, gives guidance, answers life’s most complex questions, and provides strength to face my greatest challenges.
Normally, I just shoot from the hip when invited to share my thoughts or testimony; but for this instance, I felt prompted to write my words down.
Here is what I wrote, “‘To simplify through Christ’ has taken on a whole new definition for me in the last 10 years. After I fell and suffered many injuries—most notably my brain injury—my life turned upside down. I still feel this way at times. Many of my strengths and labels were stripped from me. Things that were easy became so, so hard. The “Erica” I felt confident in and took pride in became a distant memory. I still find myself yearning for the old me at times—my energy, my organized brain, my ability to feel God’s love, my “seize the day” attitude.
“Yet, even as I suffer and struggle, I have found that God still has a plan for me and Christ still uses me for His purposes. When I focus on what I can do rather than everything I can’t, I see that Christ is in the details and helping me more than I realize. When I approach each day asking, “What would you have me do today?” my life becomes far simpler. I stop fretting over my inabilities and pain, and focus more on the joy that comes from seeking and doing the Lord’s will. I am able to serve, recognize blessings, nurture my children, study my scriptures, and share my witness. At times what He asks of me feels really hard, but I know He will “part the Red Sea” for me because I am doing His will.
“Elder Cziesla taught, “…Why does it often feel so challenging to live Christ’s law and follow His example? It may be that we misinterpret simplicity as something easy to achieve without effort or diligence. Following Christ requires constant effort and continual change.”
“I know this is true. It takes great, intentional effort for me to stay focused on Christ through the ups and downs. But it is always worth the effort—because through Him my life simplifies in beautiful ways. I find peace, purpose, grace, and hope. I am able to do what matters most, and not worry about the less important things of life.”
After I shared my witness, I felt the Spirit confirm in my heart that what I said was true, and that Heavenly Father was proud of me for having the courage to share. I am grateful for how He blesses me as I try to do what He asks of me.
Yes, simplicity doesn’t equate easily achievable, but I’ve learned it is far easier to follow Christ than to try to keep up with the demands of the world. The world screams millions of different confusing messages about what we should be focusing on, how we should look, what we should accomplish, who to follow, how to spend our time, what to care about…. but thankfully we don’t have to find our answers and direction from the world. Instead, we have a Savior who invites us to simply follow Him, and He will lead the way. He is our director and the source of truth. His way IS the way. Studying His words and following His example will give us the guidance and answers we seek. It does take daily effort, but it’s worth it.
In his message, “Simplicity in Christ,” Elder Cziesla further taught, “…When we recognize that we don’t need to do some great thing and we center ourselves on applying pure and simple doctrine, we start to see how the gospel works wonderfully for us, even in the most challenging circumstances. We find strength and confidence before God, even when we experience heartache.”
I testify that this is true. I rarely do big, great things, but I see how the small, simple, and diligent things that I do are bringing me closer to Christ and enabling me to find purpose and joy, even in my pain and heartache.
This principle holds true for my kids, too. As I try to teach them to focus on Christ in their lives, it helps them navigate everything life can throw at them. From a young age, they have been able to learn and grow by applying Christ’s teachings—how to say sorry, how to forgive, how to serve, how to share, how to pray, how to love, how to hope. The phrase “what would Jesus do” has never failed them. And for those of you with teens, you know how life’s troubles become more complex and challenging from their younger years. No longer are their worries about what to pack for lunch or who to play with at recess. They are facing big, hard choices to make in this world. There are so many messages and distractions competing for their attention and aiming to destroy their confidence. What a blessing it is that if they regularly choose to look to Christ and follow Him, they can be directed in EVERY aspect of their lives—emotionally, socially, physically, and spiritually. They don’t have to attain worldly status and achievements for the gospel to work for them. They don’t have to meet the world’s standard to find confidence.
Dieter F. Uchtdorf said to the youth of this generation,
“My dear young friends, if the Savior were here right now, what would He say to you?
“I believe He would start by expressing His deep love for you. He might say it with words, but it would also flow so strongly—just from His presence—that it would be unmistakable, reaching deep into your heart, filling your whole soul!
“…I believe the Savior Jesus Christ would want you to see, feel, and know that He is your strength. That with His help, there are no limits to what you can accomplish. That your potential is limitless. He would want you to see yourself the way He sees you. And that is very different from the way the world sees you.
“The Savior would declare, in no uncertain terms, that you are a daughter or son of the Almighty God. Your Heavenly Father is the most glorious being in the universe, full of love, joy, purity, holiness, light, grace, and truth. And one day He wants you to inherit all He has.
“It is the reason why you’re on the earth—to learn, grow, and progress and become everything your Father in Heaven has created you for.”
What a needed message for not only our youth, but for all. We can do this, because of Him. Our children can do this, because of Him. Jesus Christ is their strength, your strength, and mine.
I’ll close with one last experience I had a few weeks ago. During a moment went I felt myself slipping into despair and fear, a visualization came to my mind that I’ve never had before. I pictured the scene of Christ walking on the water, but instead of seeing Peter walk towards Him, I saw myself. Waves crashing, storm raging, my gaze was fixed upon my Savior. I knew if I stay focused on Him, He would enable me to stay afloat. Since that experience, any time I feel myself start to sink, I remind myself that if I stay locked in on the Savior, He will provide the way for me. Through Him I can walk on water.
I know this principle is true for all. As we simplify our lives through Jesus Christ, we can do the impossible. As we refocus and make small, simple changes, He will transform our souls and our lives. His strength can be ours, here and now. He offers His peace, joy, and direction. May we look to Him and live.