Last Sunday morning, my son said something that I haven’t
been able to stop thinking about. We were hurrying to get ready for church, and
as usual, running behind schedule. At last, we made it out the door and into
the van. My son looked at the time and exclaimed, “Mom! Make sure you go
as fast as you should!!!”
A smile spread across my face. Of course he said “should”
instead of “can.” He cares so much about being obedient, that he knew I’d be breaking
the law if I went, as the saying goes, “as fast as I can.” He knew I needed to
focus on going as fast as I SHOULD in order to lawfully make it to church on
time. 😊
Yes, this is a cute little story that makes me laugh, but
what he said has had a significant impact on my heart and mind. I’ve now
pondered a great deal about how important it is to live as I SHOULD.
I’m pretty good at doing the things I MUST do each day
(paying the bills, running the house, feeding the kids, meeting deadlines,
etc). But after the “must-dos” are done, my focus isn’t always centered on the “should-dos.”
I know that how I spend my time doesn’t always reflect the things that matter
most in my life. Sometimes I forget to “go as fast” as I should, and instead, I “go as fast” as I want to or can.
My guess is that many of you can relate to how I feel! We
know that there are things we should
be focused on, but at times we get distracted. Life gets busy or hard, and
suddenly we lose sight of the most important things. We forget to do the things
we really should be doing.
So, why does it matter? Why do mothers need to care about how they
spend their time and live their life?
“God loves us; the devil hates us. God wants us to have a
fulness of joy as He has. The devil wants us to be miserable as he is. God
gives us commandments to bless us. The devil would have us break these
commandments to curse us.
“Daily, constantly, we choose by our desires, our thoughts,
and our actions whether we want to be blessed or cursed, happy or miserable.”
Living as we should brings happiness and blessings. We are
children of God, and God has lovingly provided commandments for us to follow to ensure
our safety and happiness. Doing what matters most will always be for our benefit—providing
us with a steady, sure, and safe foundation—the foundation of Jesus Christ. And
let us remember that when we build on the rock of Christ, we CANNOT fall, no
matter our circumstances (Helaman 5:12).
So, what are the “shoulds” in life? What should we be doing,
regardless of everything else we do?
Well, the world offers a million confusing answers about
what we should be focusing on, but thankfully, we don’t have to find our
answers from the world.
The REAL answers are found in the pure words of the prophets,
apostles, and scriptures. If we can familiarize ourselves with the words of God,
we will know exactly what we should be doing each day. I’m sure most of us can
recall some of the counsel given in the most recent General Conference addresses for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The messages were so relevant and inspired! If we make the
time to study these talks, again and again, we will find the formula to real happiness
and peace in motherhood. The “shoulds” shared in General Conference and in the
scriptures are SMALL, and SIMPLE, and EASY to understand. We don’t need to look
beyond the mark (Jacob 4:14). We just need to offer our best efforts, and the Savior will
take care of the rest. We will need self-control and determination as we commit
to living as we SHOULD.
But sometimes it is easier said than done, right? For
example, the other night I had a little moral dilemma between doing something I
should do versus something I wanted do. I had tucked all the kids in bed and
finally found some personal free time. I then had a small, but important,
choice to make. I could study my scriptures while my mind was alert and
focused, and then work on my online Christmas shopping (I LOVE shopping for
Christmas). Or, I could do my online shopping and try to fit in my scripture
study after. Experience has taught me if I put my scripture study on the back
burner, I’m tired and barely get a verse or two in before I fall asleep. Even
though I didn’t feel like it, I chose to study my scriptures before shopping.
And you know what? My spirit was filled with peace and love, and I received a specific
prompting on how I can be a better mother. It was SO uplifting...and it took
less than 10 minutes. After my study, I had plenty of time to Christmas shop,
and I went to bed filling a simple but needed peace.
Satan will always tempt us away from the things we should be
doing. Why? Because he knows once we live by “shoulds,” we become a powerful
force for good in our homes, our families, and our communities. It scares him
when we are building our lives on a rock instead of sand. He knows we will be
happier, peaceful, and spiritually strong—everything opposite of what he wants
for us.
This week, I’ve really tried to apply my son’s words, and “go as fast as I should." Daily, I’ve made sure to study my scriptures and record impressions.
I’ve sincerely prayed morning and night. I’ve exerted more effort to spend
quality time with each of my children (dance parties, making dinner together,
belly tickles, bedtime books, better listener, etc). I’ve looked for specific
ways to serve my family, and for ways to serve others surrounding me. It hasn’t
always been easy, but I’m grateful I stuck with it.
As I have done these simple things, the blessings have been
unmistakable. My circumstances haven’t changed, but I have changed. I feel more
energy, more patience, and more love in my heart. I feel a new measure of
peace. Ironically, by focusing on the “shoulds” in my life, I am accomplishing more
each day, AND seem to have more time for everything else that needs to be done.
My house is cleaner, my kids seem happier, and I am more content with life in
general. I KNOW these are blessings directly from the fruit of the Spirit. When
we draw closer to the Lord by keeping His commandments, we are ALWAYS blessed
with a greater measure of the Spirit—bringing into our lives more, “…love, joy, peace,
longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance” (Galatians
5:22-23).
Dieter F. Uchtdorf beautifully echoes how I
feel,
“My dear brothers
and sisters, we would do well to slow down a little, proceed at the optimum
speed for our circumstances, focus on the significant, lift up our eyes, and
truly see the things that matter most. Let us be mindful of the foundational
precepts our Heavenly Father has given to His children that will establish the
basis of a rich and fruitful mortal life with promises of eternal happiness.
They will teach us to do “all these things … in wisdom and order; for it is not
requisite that [we] should run faster than [we have] strength. [But] it is
expedient that [we] should be diligent, [and] thereby … win the prize.
“Strength comes not from frantic activity but from being
settled on a firm foundation of truth and light. It comes from placing our
attention and efforts on the basics of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ. It
comes from paying attention to the divine things that matter most.
“Let us simplify our lives a little. Let us make the changes
necessary to refocus our lives on the sublime beauty of the simple, humble path
of Christian discipleship—the path that leads always toward a life of meaning,
gladness, and peace.”
May we commit to live as we should, thereby opening
the windows of heaven into our homes. Let us fight against Satan’s lies that we
don’t have time or energy for things that matter most. As we put God first and come
unto the Savior through our discipleship, we will enjoy His abiding grace and peace—enabling
us to fulfill our divine roles as women of God.
May we always remember these wonderful words from President
Ezra Taft Benson,
“We must put God in the forefront of everything else in our
lives. He must come first, just as He declares in the first of His Ten
Commandments: “Thou shalt have no other gods before me” (Ex. 20:3). When we put
God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our
lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the
demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.”
I love that when we put God first, we have no need to fear.
Everything will work together for our good. We will be abundantly blessed in
ways seen and unseen. We will find joy and strength as we learn to “go as fast as we should.” 😊
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