My poem: Rooted in Christ

I wrote this poem 3 years ago and realized I never shared it. It describes my journey of the last 5 years.💛

Rooted in Christ

My roots are strong

I tell myself

I can withstand this foreign storm

Nothing can shake me

I will not succumb

but dark clouds continue to form

Now the wind rages

hail beats on my head

I struggle to breathe and see

I’m losing my strength

every strike and smash hurts

oh, but how can this be?

My foundation is strong!

I’m tougher than this!

I fear and scream and cry

I feel painfully shaken

my roots are trembling

I ask and wonder, why?

Should I leave this place?

Find safety elsewhere?

I feel scared and all alone

But deep in my heart

I know the sure truth

I must stay on my stone

For He is my Rock

my safety, my security

with Him I cannot fail

So I’ll dig in deeper

I’ll withstand the blows

my fears, He will curtail

The storm doesn’t stop

each day is a fight

but I grow in strength and faith

I follow the wise man

who knew where he built

storm raging, he stayed in his place

I’m committed to God

I submit to His will

His words bring truth and light

Though battered and beaten

I hold to the rod

finding truth is worth the fight

My roots are strong

my foundation is firm

yes, I’ll endure this well

For Christ is my hope

my light, my Savior

my King, Immanuel

-by Erica Mears

Let them PLAY!

I loved my childhood because of how much I played. My summers were spent exploring outside, playing pickleball, riding bikes, sleeping on the trampoline, making movies, playing in the sprinkler, building forts, eating popsicles, making up games, and catching grasshoppers. Yes, I still had chores/responsibilities each day, but the majority of my time was spent playing. My mom and dad joined the fun on occasion, and other times they let us kids run free. I remember playing pickleball with my dad and jumping on the trampoline with my mom. The fact that they took the time to play with me meant so, so much. It made me feel special, important, and loved. That quality time together is a gift that can’t be diminished. Now that I am a parent, I want to offer the same gift to my children.

Teaching Young Children about Pornography

A few days ago, I saw an image I did not want to see. I was researching a brain medical condition, clicked on a link, and suddenly a pornographic image filled my phone screen. Without hesitation, I closed the window and didn’t focus my mind on what I saw. Because of past experience and decisions I’d already made, it was easy to react and reject it quickly.

But then the thoughts crossed my mind, do my children know how to handle a situation like that? Do they know and understand how dangerous pornography is? I had taught them in the past, but I felt the Spirit prompt me to share my experience with my kids, and take the time to talk to and teach them again about pornography.

Some may argue that parents shouldn’t discuss such things with their young children. Or some may feel too embarrassed or uncomfortable to talk openly about it. Others might want to teach their children, but they have no idea where to start or what to say. Regardless of these opinions, I am a firm believer that parents are obligated to teach their children about pornography BEFORE their innocent minds ever encounter it. Even with strict rules, internet filters, and monitored homes—unexpected pornography exposure happens. I want my kids to be equipped and ready so that they know how to respond to it. I want them to learn about pornography from ME first—before they learn from their friends, online, social media, etc. The world will try to teach them, but our children need us, their parents, to provide them with TRUTH before the lies. They need to know how to fight before the deadly battle begins. They need to know how to swim before they are thrown into a raging, merciless ocean.

Sister Linda S. Reeves powerfully taught,

To the mom with noise in her head

When I first became a mom, one of the weirdest transitions for me was how often I was alone in my thoughts. I saw how quickly my thoughts could become idle, down, depressed, and anxious. I recognized that everything I saw, heard, or participated in either increased or decreased the noise level within my soul. Even if I was alone in a quiet room, I could be filled with the inner noise of anxiety, turmoil, confusion, and distraction. To this day, I have to continually fight against this inner noise—especially within my motherhood. I know many moms have to do this. There are so many loud, compelling voices competing for our attention in our minds, and it is vital that we make room for the still, small voice to bring peace and stillness. The invitation to, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalms 46:10), reminds us of our need to still our souls, our hearts, and our minds. It requires more effort than just physically being still.

James E. Faust powerfully taught,

Concern for the Wounded and Bleeding

It was a beautiful spring day in Idaho, and my fitness instructor announced that we would be going on a 2-mile run around the campus. Without hesitation, I mentally committed to finish first. I was excited to push myself and see how fast I could finish. Just before we were about to leave on our run, my teacher pulled me aside. She quietly asked, “Would you mind staying in the back to make sure no one gets left behind? There are a few girls in the class that will need encouragement to finish.” I quickly smiled and obliged, but at the same time, I was a little bothered to set my “oh so important” goal aside.

The run started, and I hung around the back with the girls who chose to walk. I had no idea that this experience would result in a powerful lesson that would stay with me forever.

I met wonderful people who were used to being “left behind.” Multiple times they thanked me for walking with them. I don’t remember much of what we talked about, but I do remember how I felt. Great love and compassion filled my heart for them. I was touched to hear about their lives and struggles. I only wished this experience was something I had chosen—rather than something I was asked to do.

Here I am over 10 years later, and I’ve thought back to that experience more times than I can count. Alma 60:22 perfectly describes what I learned from “staying behind” with those who were in need.

The stirring scripture reads,

I had a "bad mom" day

Not long ago I was having a “bad mom” day. I was on my phone too much, I raised my voice unnecessarily, I felt lazy, and I was impatient with my kids. I recognized my need to change, and I felt the Spirit prompting me to fix my problems. But almost simultaneously I felt defeated, and I felt the desire to just “give in” to my bad day. I could always change tomorrow, right? The thought crossed my mind that I had already chosen to ruin most of the day, so it was pointless to try to fix it at that point. Thankfully, I ended the battle in my head by listening to the Spirit, rather than Satan. I immediately prayed to God, repented for my choices, and asked for help to do better. I put my phone away, I chose to be “up and doing,” and I gave more attention to my kids. We did chores together, went outside in the backyard and played tag, and had a great bedtime routine filled with books, songs, and kisses. What started out as a “bad mom” day turned into a wonderful mom day. My kids went to bed with smiles on their faces, and I felt like a different person compared to just a few hours prior.

I have had this experience so many times as a mom. I fall short often, and I find myself hearing a voice of inadequacy and defeat. But, I have discovered by ignoring that dark voice, and instead listening to a voice that is encouraging, uplifting, and enabling—I can continually repent, change, and find happiness. Because of the Savior, all is never lost. Because of the Savior, I can rise above my mistakes. Because of the Savior, I can continually improve as a mom.

Satan doesn’t want mothers to remember the Savior. He knows the immeasurable impact for good we can have, so he wants to thwart our work. He strives to make us feel stuck in a cycle of worthlessness, despair, and discouragement. He wants us to feel like failures. 

Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf taught,

Learning from my past--Post #2

As I've mentioned in a previous post, I'm starting something new with my blog this year! I feel prompted to occasionally post personal journal entries I've written in the past. The journal entry I'm going to share today is a reminder to me that life can be really hard sometimes. It inspires me to remember trials I've faced in the past, and to see how the Lord has blessed me to rise above, persevere, and stay strong. I hope sharing something so personal to me will somehow be of value to another. (On a side note, I had to shorten this journal entry on Instagram--but this blog post contains the full entry). 

Learning from my past--Post #1

I’m starting something new this year with my blog! For over 20 years I’ve kept/maintained different types of journals. Two journals that have greatly impacted the person I am today are my “scripture study” journal and my “tender mercy” journal. In my scripture study journal, I record impressions I receive while studying my scriptures (pretty obvious haha), and for my tender mercy journal, I record how I’ve seen the Lord bless me that day and the things I’m grateful for.

Anyway, I’ve been prompted to share some of those entries. Obviously some are too personal to share, but there are some that I feel compelled to share (even though it feels really vulnerable to do it🙈). 

Occasionally I’ll make a “learning from my past” post, where I’ll simply share something I wrote in my journal at some point in time—it might have been 15 years ago, 5 years, or 2 weeks…just whatever I feel to share. I know it will bless to me to do this, and I hope it will benefit others too.😘 

So, here's my first "learning from my past" entry!

After my brother died, I was given a message

I fell asleep sobbing the night of my little brother’s passing. I’ve never felt such a sick, hollow, helpless feeling. In the middle of the night I woke up, and immediately felt overcome with all-consuming pain again. But unexpectedly, something happened that would profoundly affect my life, and would later bring about literal miracles in the lives of others. The words of a primary song entered into my mind. It was a perfectly clear phrase, and I immediately knew it had great significance. In the moment, I didn’t recall the tune from the song or the name of the song, but the words were clear and exact,

“What does the Father ask of us? What do the scriptures say? Have faith. Have hope. Live like His Son. Help others on their way.”

The next morning, those words played in my mind over and over. I looked up the lyrics online, and discovered the song was entitled, “He Sent His Son.” I was stirred by the message of the entire song. I felt sincere gratitude that my Heavenly Father sent it to my mind and heart. I called my mom and shared my experience with her. My family decided to have the congregation sing that song at my brother’s funeral. 

Just a few weeks ago, someone contacted our family to share with us how hearing that song at the funeral changed her life. It continues to powerfully impact her to this very day, 6 years later.

Since my brother died, I’ve had several other personal experiences with this song. Each time, I’m reminded that my Heavenly Father is aware of me and my brother is aware of me. Each time, I feel inspired to apply the message, and I instantly feel buoyed and lifted by my Savior.

As I enter 2019, excited to recommit to goals and make positive changes, I want to focus on applying a simple message—a message my brother was a true, living example of during his short life.

Have faith.

Have hope.

Live like His Son.

Help others on their way.

What does He ask? 

Live like His Son.

"Come, Follow Me"--keeping it simple for a young family

As a family, we set a goal to implement the new "Come, Follow Me" program introduced by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. To put it simply, it is a program to encourage more “at home” gospel learning. Each family gets to choose how to use the program to best meet the needs of their family.

Our family decided that in addition to reading 5 verses from the Book of Mormon with our kids (our current goal), we would add one verse from the New Testament each night and take time to discuss it together. The kids wanted to call this concept “verse talk.”😊 It takes just a few minutes, and it is helping our children actually learn and apply the truths found in the scriptures. The verse we choose to read each night from the New Testament coincides with the weekly reading schedule found in the "Come, Follow Me" manual.

So, on New Year’s Eve, we read our usual Book of Mormon study, and then read Philippians 4:8 together,

I learned to embrace motherhood, rather than fight against it

I’ll never forget how strange it was to start my life as a stay-at-home mom. I went from being a full-time college student, working, and constantly on the go…to a completely opposite pace of life. I stayed home all day with a baby. No one was grading or evaluating me. No one expected anything from me. A paycheck wasn’t involved. No one cared if I had been up all night or if I stayed in my pajamas all day. Suddenly, I was invisible to the outside world (or so it felt). It was WEIRD for me. I had a hard time finding a new rhythm of life. Taking care of a newborn was far more challenging than I ever imagined. I loved my baby, yet I struggled with my new role as a mom.

My thoughts continually went back and forth from my old life to my new life. I knew I wanted so badly to be a mother, but I was having a hard time accepting all of the challenges and changes. Everything was different than before—my body, my thoughts, my schedule, my purpose. Even though I understood how important motherhood was, and I knew it was my obligation to rear my child in the best way possible—I still found myself wishing it was easier. I wanted to be able to enjoy the blessings of motherhood without all of the “hard stuff.”

Soon enough, I recognized my need to end the battle in my head. No more wanting motherhood to be easier. No more wishing it was different. Instead, it was to time accept and embrace motherhood for what it was—a sacred calling that the Lord needed me to fulfill. 

Gordon B. Hinckley taught, 

Mom Life: It's not about the next bite

The other day my cute 18-month-old daughter wanted a taste of my fudge Popsicle. I smiled and let her have a little bite. She loved it and couldn’t wait for the next bite. I gave her another bite and instantly she was begging for another (even though she still had a huge mouthful of Popsicle pushing out of her chubby cheeks). Rather than enjoying what was in her mouth, her focus was already on the next bite.😊 Of course it made me laugh, but it also made me think for a moment. How often do we, as adults, do the same thing—with our lives? Do we look ahead, without appreciating today? Are we constantly focusing on the “next bite”? Does the “current bite” seem too bland to notice?

It’s common for us as mothers to have the mindset of “I can’t wait until…” or “things will be so much better when…” (I’m guilty of using both those phrases more than I want to admit!). Days (and nights) can be super hard and super long. It’s easy to yearn for something better without noticing the good that is already there. Yes, it is wonderful to set goals and be excited about the future, but in the mean time, we can’t lose sight of the blessings currently surrounding us, here and now. There are opportunities, blessings, and moments to experience, this very day, and ours is the opportunity to recognize, taste, and savor them.

I love this powerful message from Marvin J. Ashton,

Changing My Prayers Changed My Motherhood

Years ago, my son was struggling in nursery at church. He would scream and cry almost the whole time. Both my husband and I were serving in callings that didn’t allow for us to take him out. I was so confused on how to best help him. So many people told me different things to do, but everything seemed to backfire. Every day I prayed, “Please help my boy in nursery. Please help him to stop crying and to feel more comfortable.” I prayed and prayed, but my son continued to struggle.

Poem for Mothers: The Water is Rising

The Water is Rising

Kisses, giggles, muddy toes

Connection of hearts and spirit

The water is rising, my loves

Let us drink it all in together

Pain, anxiety, endless hours

Feeling strained in every direction

The water is rising, I fear

I’m struggling to stay afloat

Capable, enabled, peacefully secure

Rain brings about my flower

The water is rising, I sing

Because of it I am stronger

Sacrifice, fulfillment, divine purpose

My role is so clear to me

The water is rising, I dive in

The immersion transforms my soul

Chaos, love, real happiness

We are such a beautiful mess

The water is rising, I pause

I need to sip, and savor

Growth, change, tremendous development

They aren’t so little anymore

The water is rising, I groan

Their time with me is passing

Faith, joy, humble tears

Oh Lord, I am most grateful

The water is rising, for me

Yes, my cup is spilling over

Cuddles, games, roasting s’mores

Little arms squeezed ‘round my neck

The water is rising, I embrace

Divinity surrounds these moments

Marriage, family, eternal blessings

His intentional plan is perfect

The water is rising, I ponder

It will ever lead me to Him

----by Erica Mears

We Need Each Other

The day after my 29^th birthday, I went to run down the stairs, but I lost my footing on the second stair—causing me to slip backwards. Instinctively, I reached my hands out for anything to grab on to and catch myself, but there was nothing but air. Before I knew it, it felt like someone swung a bat at the base of my skull. I blacked out for a second, and thought I was going to throw up. A consuming white noise rung in my head for several minutes. I laid there and thought, did that really just happen?  My head, neck, spine, and tailbone were throbbing with pain, and to make matters worse, my husband was out of town on a business trip.

But life must go on, right? I still had to be a mom and meet the demands of my day. In my mind, I had no other choice but to try to ignore the pain and continue on as normally as I could. I took my daughter to gymnastics, with her three siblings in tow. I can do hard things!  I’ll be fine. I tried to be mentally tough, even though with each passing minute I felt weaker and weaker. As the day continued, I was struggling more than I knew how to respond to. My head was spinning and my brain was in a fog.

Am I an Intentional Mother?

A few weeks ago, I watched the broadcast announcing the new First Presidency for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I listened to President Russell M. Nelson speak, and he said something that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. He used the phrase “righteous, intentional parenting." When he said this, I felt a direct prompting that the word intentional matters beyond understanding—specifically for mothers. I knew I needed to study and ponder what it meant.

According to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary, the definition of intentional is, “done on purpose; deliberate.” With this definition in mind, I’ve asked myself some soul-searching questions. Am I deliberate in the choices I make each day as a mom? Are my actions as a mother done with purpose? Am I a righteous, intentional mother?

If I’m being honest, my answer to all of these questions is sometimes I am, but sometimes I am not. There are times when I am passive or distracted rather than intentional. There are times when I lose sight of my main purpose in motherhood. I’m guessing many fellow mommas feel the same way! There are days that feel numb and never-ending, we seem to get trapped in time-wasting activities, and our motto is to merely survive each day. Sadly, this is exactly what Satan wants for us. 

Boyd. K Packer warns,

Your Light Matters

I remember driving on the interstate—going about 80 mph. Suddenly, and without any warning, I saw a large piece of furniture flip out of the back of a pickup truck. Within a matter of seconds, the furniture crashed right in front of my car. I hastily swerved to the left (luckily into the shoulder of the road), and avoided the danger. Once I swerved back onto the road, I looked into my rearview mirror to see the fate of the car behind me. To my relief, the driver behind me followed my exact path and avoided a collision. And just like that, I watched a domino effect take place—with car after car after car. Each driver knew to serve left because of the example of the car ahead of him/her.

I guarantee that each one of us has “been that driver,” setting an example for a person in need, or “that follower,” because of the positive example of another. Sometimes we forget that there are oh so many people in darkness who are in need of light, and they look to you and me to find that light. It could be a child, a neighbor, a spouse, a friend, a stranger—anyone, but no matter who it is, our light can make all the difference—if we choose to let it shine.

Joseph B. Wirthlin reminds us why our light matters,

Go as Fast as You Should

Last Sunday morning, my son said something that I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. We were hurrying to get ready for church, and as usual, running behind schedule. At last, we made it out the door and into the van. My son looked at the time and exclaimed, “Mom! Make sure you go as fast as you should!!!”

A smile spread across my face. Of course he said “should” instead of “can.” He cares so much about being obedient, that he knew I’d be breaking the law if I went, as the saying goes, “as fast as I can.” He knew I needed to focus on going as fast as I SHOULD in order to lawfully make it to church on time. 😊

Yes, this is a cute little story that makes me laugh, but what he said has had a significant impact on my heart and mind. I’ve now pondered a great deal about how important it is to live as I SHOULD.

I’m pretty good at doing the things I MUST do each day (paying the bills, running the house, feeding the kids, meeting deadlines, etc). But after the “must-dos” are done, my focus isn’t always centered on the “should-dos.” I know that how I spend my time doesn’t always reflect the things that matter most in my life. Sometimes I forget to “go as fast” as I should, and instead, I “go as fast” as I want to or can.

My guess is that many of you can relate to how I feel! We know that there are things we should be focused on, but at times we get distracted. Life gets busy or hard, and suddenly we lose sight of the most important things. We forget to do the things we really should be doing.

So, why does it matter? Why do mothers need to care about how they spend their time and live their lives?

Ezra Taft Benson shares why,

He Sees You

I see you.

I see in the grocery store, with three little ones in tow. The baby is crying, yet somehow you keep your cool. You are doing your best to get the groceries you need for the next two weeks of meals. It is obvious your children feel loved and secure.

I see you at the park, pushing your child in the swing. You’re sometimes in sweats and sometimes dressed up, but you are there. You smile as your child giggles and squeals with each push. And in that moment, all the work and effort of getting to the park was worth it.

I see you out on stroller walks, sometimes walking up and down the street several times. You take the time to point out the bugs and flowers to your toddler. You breathe in the fresh air, and take a moment to feel the sunshine on your face. It’s likely been a few days since you were able to make it out, and you are sure to relish the freedom of being outside.

I see you in the airport, exhausted and depleted. Yet, you persevere and portray a strength only mothers are capable of. You rock your restless child in your arms until your arms are numb, but you do it with love and compassion.

I see you at Mcdonald’s, snapping pictures and carrying on child-like conversations. You talk about the important things and the silly things. The purpose of your visit isn’t for you but for them. Your kids look to you for comfort and go back to playing.

I see you in the middle of the night, nursing a baby or comforting a sick child. Your hair is a mess, but you don’t care. You would give up anything for your child, including countless nights of sleep.

I see you at church, and know how much effort went into getting your family there. Bathing the kids, getting them fed and ready, changing diapers, doing their hair, packing the snacks, and barely making it there on time. And once you are there, oftentimes you are out in the hall with a child. Yet, you still attend church week after week, because you know it matters.

But, I’m not the only one who sees you. And I’m not the only one who sees me.

Our Father in Heaven sees us.  Every second of sacrifice we give, He sees. He sees us on a scale far more compassionate, loving, and merciful than any of us can comprehend. He loves us more than we could ever love ourselves. He sees us through the eyes of a parent, for he truly is our Father.

I love these beautiful truths shared by Dieter F. Uchtdorf,

A Primary Song for Mothers

I've had a primary song stuck in my head all day, so I decided to look up the lyrics. I’m so grateful I did. For the first time, I saw the song through the lens of a mother rather than the lens of a child. I invite all my fellow mom’s out there to read these lyrics and apply them to YOU.

Family Home Evening Ideas for Young Children

For a recent Relief Society activity, I was asked to give a presentation about family home evening ideas for young children. With that presentation in mind, I created this blog post. 😊

Here are 5 basic steps I follow for family home evening:

It is Okay to Feel Weak

I’m guessing I am not the only mom who has ever felt weak—weak beyond description. After I had my first baby, I’ll never forget the overwhelming amount of weakness I felt. I wondered what was wrong with me. Why do I feel so incapable? Why am I having such a hard time with this? For years my dream was to be a mom, and I was certain of how beautiful and wonderful it would be. However, “weakness,” was never a part of that dream.

Even now (with 8 years of motherhood under my belt), I have many moments when I feel weak. In fact, it is a very familiar feeling! But guess what I have discovered? IT IS OKAY TO FEEL WEAK. It is okay to feel like I can’t keep up. It is okay to feel exhausted. It is okay to feel stretched thin. Why is it okay? Because it turns me to my Lord, my God. It shows me that I cannot do it alone. It brings me to my knees in prayer. Weakness reminds me just how much I need God’s strength in my life.

So many moments of my motherhood have consisted of tearful pleas for help from Heaven above. I’m sure many of you could say the same. And if we take a moment, to think back on those moments, we remember how desperate and weak we felt. Yet at the same time, we humbly remember how the Lord enabled us, through His loving grace, to be strengthened in our weakness. The weakness itself might not have been removed, but we felt a strength beyond our own.

In Jacob 4:7, Jacob shares an important truth about weakness—a truth that has special significance for mothers. He wrote, 

Spiritual Death Vs. Spiritual Life: What Every Mom Needs to Know

The world at large is very aware of what physical death looks like. We are also familiar with what causes physical death. For example, we know that without food and water, we will eventually die. Food and water are necessary for survival. In order to quench hunger or thirst, we must eat or drink. It is obvious and simple.

What is NOT so obvious to the world at large is spiritual death and its devastation surrounding us. In fact, 1 Timothy 5:6 teaches that some are “dead” while they live. Just as our physical bodies need proper nutrition, our spirits are in desperate need as well. Yet so, so many of us are unknowingly starving our spirits—continually. Spiritual death is worse than physical death, but cunningly Satan tricks our society into thinking otherwise. He says if we feel good and look good physically, then we are “alive” and well (2 Nephi 28:21).

As mothers, we know we can’t skip a day without food and water, or we wouldn’t be able to function. We wouldn’t be able to nurse, have a healthy pregnancy, or meet the needs of our children, because we would be so depleted and weak. Do we realize the same goes for our spirits? In order to properly function and serve in our families, we MUST nourish and feed our spirits, every day.

It is vital that we turn to the correct source for spiritual nourishment. Oftentimes, when we feel spiritual suffering, we turn to the wrong source to fill the void. Isn’t it interesting how Satan deceives us to act on PHYSICAL appetites to meet our SPIRITUAL needs? When our spirits are hurting, we might turn to food, entertainment, spending money, dangerous addictive behaviors, drug and alcohol abuse, physical pleasure, mind-numbing activities, and so on. These physical appetites can never fill a spiritual void, and instead, they make the void worse. It is neccessary that we turn to SPIRITUAL sources to meet our spiritual needs. Thankfully, Heavenly Father has given us plenty of simple ways we can find such nourishment.

Dallin H. Oaks teaches how we can feed and nourish our spirits,

A Small Tweak that Makes a Huge Difference, Especially for Mothers and Wives

If you are anything like me, as soon as you hear the word “service,” you start to feel like you aren’t doing enough. And almost simultaneously you think of all the reasons why you aren’t able to serve more. I know it’s a sensitive subject for many of us. It is my prayer that this article will create an excitement and desire to serve, rather than any feelings of guilt or despair. I hope it will leave us feeling with the thought, “I can!” instead of, “I can’t.” As mothers and wives, we can find more happiness in the service we give—just by tweaking our hearts.

Tweaking our hearts? Allow me to explain. Motherhood requires so much sacrifice and selflessness—that is a given. Whether we feel like changing a diaper or not, it has to be done. We serve day and night. But sadly, if we only go through the motions of service, we set ourselves up to feel frustrated and bitter—even in the very act of service we render. If Satan can get us to remove our hearts from the service we give, he knows it will rob us of joy that could be ours. He tricks us to serve with our hearts turned inward instead of turned outward.

What if Christ irritably mumbled under his breath while on the cross? What if He still died for us, but His heart was far removed? HIS experience would have cankered His soul. YOU and I would have still enjoyed the blessings of His sacrifice for us, but HE wouldn’t have felt the same (even though He went through the motions). Our children and spouses will be blessed through our daily sacrifices and service, even if our hearts are removed. But WE, the daily givers, will miss out on SO much. Just by turning our hearts outward, a horrible day can be turned into a blessed day; a sour moment can be turned into a sweet one. Going through the motions isn’t enough—our hearts need to be involved. The scriptures teach that we must have clean hands AND a pure heart (Psalms 24:4). 

To be honest, the content in this article was not my idea. For quite awhile I haven’t known what to write about, but that all changed last week. I was cooking dinner and the Holy Ghost enlightened my mind with very specific thoughts. I knew I needed to record the insights immediately. As I recorded, I gained a new understanding that resonated in my soul. I’ve always known the importance of focusing on others instead of myself, but I never realized how much it applied to motherhood and wifehood. The idea of serving with my heart turned outward—as a mother and wife—stirred in my heart. I knew I needed to work on it. In fact, I felt excited and hopeful to apply what I learned. Oh how grateful and humbled I am with the results. Just yesterday, I felt more joy as I made my family dinner. I felt excited to make cookies for my husband and kids. More patience filled my heart while my kids were screaming at each other. I was a better listener. In essence, I was doing all the same things I normally do, but I found more happiness in it. I felt more enabled as a mother and wife. By not focusing on myself as I served, every part of my day was more joyful and fulfilling.

Our former beloved prophet, Gordon B. Hinckley, taught,

Today Was Not My Day

A few weeks ago, my six-year-old son headed to his semi-final baseball game, and of course, he really wanted to win. Little did he know what was in store. Shortly after he entered the dugout, he tripped on a bag and fell hard to the ground, tearing up his arms and knees. When he got up to bat, the ball hit his hand hard, causing him to cry. He toughed it out and stayed up to bat, but struck out. His team ended up losing the game. When the teams did the “high-five” line after the game, a boy on the other team hit my son’s hand as hard as he could (not knowing that it was his injured hand). And when you’d think it couldn’t get any worse, when the coach pulled Karter’s “end-of-season” trophy out of the box, the bat was broken off of his trophy.

When Karter got home from the game, he wanted to be alone and not talk about it. I suggested he take a bath, and he thought that was a good idea.

About 10 minutes later, I quietly opened the bathroom door and peeked in. I saw his little slumped, defeated shoulders...my heart hurt for him. I knelt to the ground, and gently asked, “Are you ready to talk about it now?”

Appear Not Unto Men, But Unto Thy Father

About two years ago, I remember feeling enlightened while reading Christ’s words in 3 Nephi 13. The word “appear” stood out to me more than any other time I’d read it. In the scripture passage, Christ shares examples about how we do things to appear a certain way towards men, when really, we should focus on how we appear to God.

1,4:“…take heed ye do not your alms before men to be seen of them; otherwise ye have no reward of your Father...thine alms may be in secret; and then thy Father who seeth in secret, himself shall reward thee openly.”

18:“That thou appear not unto men to fast, but unto thy Father who is in secret; and thy Father, who seeth in secret, shall reward thee openly.”

Aren’t Christ’s words exactly what we need for our day? We live at a time where people seem to care about being “seen of men” more than anything else. Facebook and Instragram so often are used to push an appearance. And if we are not careful, we can get caught up in it as well. We must remember that our appearance before God is what truly matters.

In 3 Nephi 12:15, when the Savior teaches us to, “let your light so shine before this people, that they may see your good works,” how often are we forgetting the second part of that verse—“and glorify your Father who is in heaven.” It does matter that we shine our light, in order to bring others to Christ and to glorify God—not to bring others to “us” and to glorify “ourselves.” So, do we exercise and maintain a healthy body to bring glory and attention to ourselves or to God? Do we post pictures of ourselves playing with our kids to appear a certain way, but in the same breath stop playing once the picture is posted? Do we attend church to “make an appearance,” but spend the rest of the day breaking the Sabbath? It is so important that we look at our motives behind all that we do.

If I’m being honest, I had a major inner-battle as I considered even starting this blog. I felt strong impressions to create my blog, but almost immediately after, I began to worry what others might think. What if I was criticized for my beliefs? What if I was mocked? What if no one read it? What if it looked like I was trying to get attention? What if it offended people? Because I let myself worry about how it would appear to “man,” rather than to God, I almost didn’t go forward with it. Thankfully, as I continued to turn to the Lord in this dilemma, I was blessed to care more about God’s will than man’s. If Samuel the Lamanite was willing to stand on a wall and testify of Christ—while people shot arrows at him—certainly, I could handle whatever came my way as I shared my own, personal witness.

It is SO easy to slip into worrying about how we appear to man instead of God. What a blessing though, that when we DO only care about how God sees us, we are openly blessed by Him—far more than any “man” could ever “reward” us. For example, I’ve found true happiness in pondering, writing, and sharing as I post in my blog. God has blessed me to not worry about likes, comments, shares, and numbers; but instead, to care about how He views what I’m doing. I feel His validation, encouragement, and love. These sweet blessings inspire me to press on, regardless of what others think.

Think about how liberating it would be for us as women, if we only cared about how we appeared to God. If we did this, we would be better mothers, wives, friends, and people. We would mother our children more gently and lovingly, whether it be in public or within the walls of our homes. We would think positively of other women, rather than fault-find verbally or mentally. We would stop comparing. We would practice complete fidelity in our marriages. We would be okay that our body doesn’t fit the world’s standard, and instead, focus on living a healthy lifestyle in a way that pleases God. We would be more selective in what we watched on TV. We would serve better in our callings. Our motives, thoughts, desires, and actions would improve, enabling us to feel more REAL love and joy in life.

Neil L. Andersen put it this way,